University of Maine Cooperative Extension
Bulletin #4227

Months 10 and 11

How Baby is Changing

Is your baby saying any real words yet? A child just learning to talk often uses one word to mean several different things. Real words are words that mean only one thing.

Even if baby says “no” and shakes his head back and forth, he may not know what the word means. He may even say “no” when he really means “yes.” Don’t take all his “no’s” too seriously.

If baby began to pull up to standing last month, he will probably learn how to get down all by himself soon. He may be fascinated by stairs. With a gate on the second or third step, he can practice climbing but can’t fall too far.

Watch baby’s hands. You may see him pick things up with just his first finger and thumb. Remember when he had to use his whole hand to smear food into his mouth? He has come a long way.

Don’t worry if your baby doesn’t seem to do things right on schedule. Your baby is unique, and he will develop on his own timetable. As long as your baby is making progress, just enjoy watching him grow.

Discipline: Is Baby a Tease?

Does your baby ever tease you on purpose? Has he ever headed straight for a wastebasket, making sure you notice? Does he reach for your glasses, almost waiting to hear “no, no”?

Your child is testing his emotions and yours. He is experimenting to see just where his limits are.

Teaching children to behave has always been a challenge to parents. It’s not so much a matter of making your baby mind as it is a process of making it easy for him to do the right thing.

How can you make it easy? First, don’t ask too much of him. Keep in mind that he is a baby. Don’t tempt him with wastebaskets, plants or uncovered outlets.

Give your baby safe toys and places to play. Pick him up and take him away from dangerous things. Give him words like “hot,” “tastes bad,” or “stop,” instead of a flat “no” all the time.

Be patient, gentle and understanding, but keep showing baby what you want. If you recognize and accept some behavior as part of babyhood, you are using good judgment.

Getting Ready to Walk

Baby’s first steps are a cause for celebration. But the process of learning to walk started many months ago as she was gaining control over her legs and arms. A few babies (25 percent) take their first steps by 11 months, others wait until 15 or 16 months. 

Most babies pull themselves to a standing position for the first time between 6 and 10 months. They hold onto furniture, their crib, playpen rails or your pants leg.

The next step is called cruising. Baby holds onto furniture and walks sideways. As she gets better, she’ll stand further away from the furniture, using it for balance only.

Falls are quite common when baby first starts walking. Learning to walk takes real courage. You can help by watching out for safety hazards (chairs or tables that tip, dangling tablecloths or cords, sharp corners), providing a soft surface to ease falls and offering praise and love when she gets discouraged.

After she is confident about walking while holding furniture, she is ready to take a few steps holding your hands. This can be scary for her, so go just a few steps unless baby wants to go on.

Baby may really enjoy this, and insist that you “walk” with her all day long! She will learn to walk even without your help. But you may enjoy taking the time to help her learn and practice.

Household Items as Toys

Toys are anything your baby likes to play with. Look around your home. You probably have lots of safe objects to use as toys.

• Baby is probably ready for nesting containers which are things that fit inside other things. You can buy a set of nesting cups or let baby use plastic measuring cups or food storage bowls. These let him practice the ideas of “bigger,” “smaller,” “in and out.” These make good bath toys, too.

• Be sure all toys for baby are too large to swallow, have no sharp edges, and are safe for chewing.

• Use old-fashioned wooden clothespins (not spring-type) and a box or coffee can for baby to learn “on” and “off.” Show him how to put the clothespins on the can or box edge and then pull them off. He can practice “in” and “out” by putting the clothespins in the container and dumping them out.

• Cut a hole in the top of an oatmeal box for baby to drop large empty thread spools or other round objects into. He can take off the lid to get the objects out.

• Baby likes to do things with toys, too, besides examining them. Making towers out of blocks or fitting rings onto a pole help his hand-eye coordination. You can make blocks out of empty, rinsed-out milk cartons. Open up the top, and fold it down to make a cube. Tape each block shut. Rinsed-out square baby-wipe containers make good blocks too.

• Baby may enjoy larger toys, too. A cardboard box with the ends cut out can be a tunnel. Baby can roll over a pillow or beachball, and crawl into a paper grocery bag.

• Children love to do the things their parents do. By 12 months, about 25 percent of babies will imitate housework. If you paint, let him “paint” with water. Or give him a broom, toy hammer, dusting cloth or other object to do work just like you. Have fun with your baby!

Teach Your Baby the “Ahhh” Game

A smart thing to teach your child is to say “Ahhh,” open her mouth wide and stick out her tongue. This trick will make going to the doctor easier. It is also helpful when you want to see what she put in her mouth.

To teach baby, just say “Ahhh” yourself. Open your mouth very wide and stick out your tongue. She will learn by copying you. 

No matter how well baby-proofed your home is, your baby will find something to put in her mouth without you seeing what it is. Don’t panic! You might startle her and cause her to swallow the object.

Instead, act as if you are playing the “Ahhh” game. If she knows the game she will imitate you, and can have her mouth inspected in no time.

Learning to Use a Spoon

Most babies don’t learn how to use a spoon until well after their first birthday. The food they try to pick up with a spoon sometimes lands on the floor. But they are learning, and they need practice to become skillful with a spoon.

Here are some foods that will stick to the spoon when scooped up. Your baby can enjoy them while practicing his spoon skills:

• Yogurt

• Applesauce

• Mashed potatoes

• Cooked cereal (oatmeal, cream of rice or
  wheat)

• Cottage cheese

• Macaroni and cheese

• Mashed cooked beans

• Pureed or mashed vegetables or fruits

If you are worried about your baby not getting enough food, try two spoons, one for you and one for baby. Give him a mouthful or two (if he’ll let you) in between his efforts.

Remember to make mealtimes happy, not frustrating. Hungry babies want to eat. It’s up to parents and other caretakers to help babies develop good attitudes about food. How? With lots of praise, a little patience and encouragement, your baby can learn a wide variety of tastes and textures in new foods. Good food habits start in infancy.

Be Good to Yourself

If you’re feeling stressed out by being a parent, you may need to give yourself a present: some time just for you. Even if you are a single parent, you can trade babysitting with another parent, or trade a service like cooking a meal in return for a few hours to yourself. You have earned it, you deserve it and you don’t need to be embarrassed to ask for it. Here are some suggestions for spending time on yourself:

• Take a long bubblebath, a walk or a swim. See a movie or read a book without interruption.

• Plan your future: investigate classes you might take, jobs you could apply for, activities you would enjoy.

• Spend time with a friend, without children.

• Talk to someone about the stress you feel and what you might do to reduce it.

Taking time just for yourself will help you feel refreshed and ready to face parenthood again.

Special for Employed Parents

“Sometimes I feel guilty. Am I a lousy parent because I have to be away at work all day?”

Of course not. Sixty percent of Maine’s mothers and fathers of 1-year-olds work outside the home today. If you arrange good quality child care for your baby, and if you do your best to be a sensitive parent the rest of the time, your baby will usually do fine.

Research on employed parents shows that the number of hours per day you work away from home is not usually as important as what you do with your baby when you are together.

For example, babies usually form their first strong attachments to fathers and mothers during the same months, even when one parent works full time and the other is home with the baby.

From your baby’s point of view, the important thing is to have quality care all day long, whether at home or elsewhere, whether with a parent or a childcare provider.

“So it doesn’t matter how much time I spend with my infant?”

We wouldn’t say that. For example, some fathers spend almost no time playing with their babies. That is too little time! Research shows that these infants would benefit from more stimulation and care from their fathers. 

These uninvolved fathers may have the old-fashioned belief that babies are women’s business. Or maybe these men just don’t know what to do with a baby.

Researchers believe babies benefit from having a close relationship with more than one person. If your baby has only one parent, other people can be important to your baby: grandparents, brothers and sisters, child care providers. No parent should think she or he must be with a baby all day every day. This is hard on you and may not be best for your baby. 

My Baby Called the Day Care Teacher “Mama” or “Papa”

Mothers who use full-time day care sometimes worry that their baby will feel more love for the child care provider. When your baby calls another woman “mama” or another man “papa,” you may feel hurt, jealous, guilty or just confused.

Research shows that infants in day care do form strong bonds of love with their caregivers. The infant is able to use the caregiver much as he uses you: to calm fears and to feel secure.

But research also shows that caregivers do not replace the parent. Some of the research was done in communal towns in Israel, where the baby lives and sleeps in a special infant house with trained caregivers, and only sees the parents for about three hours each evening. Even in this extreme case, babies are still more strongly attached to their parents. By the way, this is true for babies who are adopted at a young age, too.

The research is clear: your day care provider doesn’t compete with you. She or he helps you raise your baby well, but never replaces you.

From your baby’s point of view, having a strong attachment to the day care provider is good. Your baby needs to feel secure and loved in every place he spends time, both at home and at day care.

If your baby calls the day care teacher “mama” by mistake, you can tell yourself “How nice! My baby likes his teacher almost as much as me." You will know no one can replace you.

Is It Time for Another Baby?

Baby is growing into a toddler, and maybe you are thinking about having another child. We have a piece of advice: wait a while!

When a child is 2 years older (or less) than the new baby, she often feels jealous. Who could blame her? When a baby arrives, suddenly she gets a lot less attention than she used to.

If you wait until your toddler is 2 1/2 or 3 years old before having your next baby, she will be more independent. She will handle the arrival of a new baby better, which makes it much easier for you.

Raising a newborn is hard work, as you know! Imagine how much harder it would be with a small toddler competing for your attention all day!

So we recommend, if you want to have more children, wait a while before getting pregnant again.

There are many safe ways to prevent pregnancy. Talk with your doctor, clinic and/or your religious advisor before deciding which to use. If you don’t know who to ask for advice, look in the Yellow Pages of your phone book under “Birth Control.”

This is important! Birth control takes planning on your part, but it can make your life easier and can help you be a better parent.

Questions and Answers

My daughter crawls around and pulls everything out of drawers and cupboards. I want to let her explore, but I’m worried that this will become a bad habit if I don’t do something. What do you suggest? 

Don’t worry about your baby getting into bad habits yet. Babies this age create clutter. A healthy 10-month-old is doing what comes naturally: exploring.

She pulls things out of drawers, turns furniture over, drags toys all over the house and examines anything she can touch. But she is not doing it just to spite you or anyone else.

Drawer and cupboard latches will keep baby out of things that could be dangerous to her. Try keeping a special drawer or cupboard open for her, with safe plastic bowls, wooden spoons, pots and pans and food cans to play with.

Very soon, your little one will be walking and running and won’t have time to sit still and clutter up your whole home! She is going through a normal phase of development.

For more information on family issues, contact your county Extension office or the Family Living Office, University of Maine Cooperative Extension, 5717 Corbett Hall, Orono, ME 04469-5717, (207) 581-3448/3104 or 1-800-287-0274 (in Maine).

Published and distributed in furtherance of Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914, by the University of Maine Cooperative Extension, the Land Grant University of the state of Maine and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. Cooperative Extension and other agencies of the U.S.D.A. provide equal opportunities in programs and employment.

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