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University of Maine Cooperative
Extension
Bulletin #4228
Months 11 and 12
Standing up and “cruising” around the room by holding furniture keeps your little one very busy. He may even take a few steps on his own. Some babies like standing up so much they refuse to sit down! This will wear off eventually.
In the meantime, you may have to diaper baby while he’s standing, or keep a special toy just for diapering to get him to lie down. Don’t let him stand up in the highchair.
Baby may be able to say several words, and he understands even more. He learns new words by hearing you talk to him. Point out colors and objects to help him learn.
Your baby may recognize some people now even if they change their hair, glasses or grow a mustache. His memory for people is improving, but he is still afraid of strangers.
By now, baby can make a tower out of two blocks, and he understands some complicated ideas like “up and down,” “big and small.” Toys, like shape-sorters, that let him fit small pieces into bigger ones are special favorites at this age.
Your Baby Wants You to KnowHow I Grow:
How I Talk:
How I Respond:
How I Understand:
How I Feel:
How You Can Help Me Learn:
Children can be very different from each other. Don’t worry if your child is “early” or “late” in growth. This is important: look for and notice your child’s growth in each area. Then you can encourage each new ability. |
Children have been hurt or killed in recliner chair accidents. These children were between 12 and 30 months old, alone in the room, and climbing on the leg-rest of the chair.
A child’s head and neck can become trapped between the leg rest and chair, if the chair folds up.
If you have a recliner chair, be sure to: (1) Always keep it in an upright position when it’s not in use; (2) Do not let a child play on the leg rest, even with an adult sitting in the chair.
Consumers should report any accident with recliner chairs (or with any baby products) to the Consumer Product Safety Commission at: 1-800-638-CPSC (this is a toll-free call).
Some parents think they must set special times aside to play with their baby to teach her new things. That’s fine, but sometimes you don’t have big blocks of time.
Children are happy with lots of little bits of your time and attention. They learn to amuse themselves, with your help.
It takes less than two minutes to:
Give baby a hug and a kiss.
Tweak her toes.
Play pat-a-cake or peek-a-boo.
Show baby her nose or chin. Or show her your nose.
Admire her shoes.
Show baby a picture or two in a book.
Tickle her tummy at bath time.
Lift her up over your head.
Point out a pretty leaf or flower.
Give her a big smile.
How do you want your child to feel about himself? Do you want him to grow up thinking he is a good person, able to handle things in life? Do you want him to get along with others and share his feelings? The way a person feels about himself is called “self-esteem.” High self-esteem means someone feels good about himself. Children with high self-esteem are better able to succeed in school and in life.
Self-esteem begins at home. If you want your child to feel good about himself, you have to feel good about him and let him know. How can you do this? Tell him you think he is a great kid. Tell him that he is important to you. Share lots of hugs, kisses and smiles. Give him some of your undivided attention each day and really listen to him.
When your child does something you don’t like, you can choose to correct him in a way that won’t hurt his self esteem. Don’t yell at him and tell him he is a rotten kid. Instead, say, “I get mad when you......” He’ll learn without feeling like a failure. Be fair and consistent; teach your child to make good choices.
Try to point out at least five things he does right each day. You can say, “I like the nice way you are petting the kitty” or, “Look at how well you stack those blocks!” or, especially, “You are playing with your sister very nicely.”
Say “please” and “thank you” to your children. Children are people, too. When you say please and thank you, they learn to respect themselves and others.
Do you take your baby to the supermarket with you? Some children really enjoy this. Others are over-excited by all the colors, smells and noises, and “act-up” with bad behavior.
If your child can take the stimulation, grocery shopping can be a fun outing. You can help your baby to learn in the supermarket by talking to him and pointing out different foods.
When you choose some apples you can say, “We need four red apples. See? One, two, three, four.” When you get cereal, show her the box, shake it, and let her see what is in it when you get home.
You might want to bring a toy from home or let baby hold something unbreakable to keep her little hands busy. Don’t let your baby stand up in a grocery cart. Use the seat strap or bring one from home to keep him seated.
Research shows that smart children have parents who give them this kind of stimulation.
Babies get frustrated and mad sometimes when they can’t do what they want. Sometimes getting stuck halfway up the stairs or not getting a cookie can set off a temper tantrum.
What can you do when baby is howling and kicking and screaming? That depends. If baby is upset because he can’t get back down the stairs, or sit down when he’s standing, teach him how. Soon his abilities will match his desires.
If baby is upset because he can’t have a cookie or play with your glasses, try to interest him in a different activity or object. If this doesn’t work, ignore the tantrums. Read, look out a window or turn the other way. Do not even look at him, but stay nearby.
When he sees that you are not paying attention, he will eventually quiet down. Once he is calm, give him a hug and a little understanding. His strong emotions are a little scary for him!
What if the temper tantrum is in a public place, like the grocery store? This is harder. Once again, try to interest your baby in something else, like a toy or a picture on a cereal box. Once a tantrum has begun, you may just have to put up with it.
Your child is not the first child to have a tantrum in public, and he won’t be the last. Even the people who frown or make comments have probably gone through it themselves. Ignore them.
Don’t be tempted to spank your baby when he’s having a tantrum. He is already out of control. It scares him even more when you are out of control and angry too. Resist the urge to “do something.” In the long run, doing nothing will make the tantrums go away sooner.
If your baby is very active, you may notice a slowing down of weight gain. That is because your baby is using more calories for his constant activity.
The fact that your baby may not be gaining as much weight as before doesn’t mean he isn’t healthy. A fat baby is not necessarily a healthy baby. At this age, babies should be developing muscle tissue, not fat.
Worrying about what your baby eats or doesn’t eat will only make both of you nervous. Don’t expect him to clean his plate or eat “just one more” mouthful. Trust him to be the best judge of how much to eat.
As baby moves around and explores, he is becoming more independent. He may insist on feeding himself. Or he may be a little scared by his new abilities and cling to you at mealtimes. He may even refuse to hold his cup or spoon and demand to be fed.
Whether your little one is a clinger or a self-feeder, try to be calm and patient. It will pay off in fewer feeding problems now as well as later.
Waterplay in the bathtub, pool or beach can be a lot of fun for baby, but it can be dangerous too. Here are some tips to make watertime safe and fun:
Eleven to 12 months is a good time to start swimming lessons if you are willing to keep practicing. Otherwise, your baby will forget and may become afraid of the water.
Flotation devices are fun, but they are not a substitute for a watchful parent. Never leave a young child alone near water, even for a minute.
Swimming lessons and floating toys do not prevent drowning. Teach your child to wait for a adult before getting into water.
Watch out for small amounts of water, too. Babies have drowned in buckets and open toilet bowls because their heavy heads trap them if they fall in.
If you have or use a pool, teach proper poolside behavior. Don’t allow running or horseplay around the pool. Never leave a pool half-covered. A child could get trapped under the cover.
Don’t let your baby swallow lots of water when swimming; it could make him sick.
Use a waterproof sunscreen to prevent sunburns.
Learn CPR so you’re prepared in case of an accident.
Do you know that all parents have bad days? Every parent sometimes feels pecked at.
Taking care of a young child can leave you feeling that you never have a moment to yourself unless you find it some time after midnight, and then it may be interrupted by a small cry. Besides that, if you are like most parents of young children, you can hardly keep your eyes open after 8 p.m.
You may wonder if someone else has found an easier way to do the job. On bad days you might secretly ask yourself if you are doing something wrong.
No one knows a short cut to being a good parent. It is common for parents to ache a little physically and feel emotionally bruised. Take heart; you probably aren’t doing anything wrong. A lot of weariness goes with being a parent. It may help to remember that these bad days usually are followed by some good days and that all these days will pass as your little one becomes less demanding.
Young children need parents who try to be their best with them, but that doesn’t mean we succeed 100 percent of the time. Allow yourself one major screw-up per day guilt-free. When you are not feeling okay, try not to worry about whether you are a super parent or a super family.
Infants and toddlers can be demanding. If you sometimes feel that you are at the end of your rope, call your doctor, pastor or a good friend just to let off steam and to talk. Just because you sometimes feel you can’t cope with your little one doesn’t mean you don’t care about or love your child, and it doesn’t mean you can’t be a good parent. It simply means you are responsible enough to know when you need help.
Here is a mirror game you can play with your baby to help him learn what he looks like.
How to Play:
Put your baby on a bathroom counter in front of a mirror. Stand behind him and point to his reflection.
Using his name, say “I see Johnny. Where is Johnny? Find Johnny.” Encourage him to point to himself in the mirror. “Here’s my nose. Here’s Johnny’s nose.”
Do the same thing with toys and other objects. Pick them up one at a time and move them behind your baby’s head. Bring them out into view on one side or the other. Your baby will love this!
Name the objects and tell baby something about each one, such as, “This is a ball, and it’s round.”
Ask baby, “Where is the ball?” and encourage him to point to it in the mirror.
My baby likes to take off all her clothes and run around naked. How can I stop her from doing this?
Baby sure is growing up, isn’t she? A few months ago she was just turning over. Now she is coordinated enough to pull her clothes off, but not enough to put them back on.
It is not unusual at this age to check on baby in her crib and find her naked and giggling, proud of her new skills.
To slow down your little stripper, choose clothes that are harder for small hands to unfasten, like one-piece outfits, overalls and clothes with small buttons.
You can also try putting clothes or sleepers on backwards, so baby can’t reach the zippers.
If baby pulls off disposable diapers, you can buy special “pants” to wear over them, so baby can’t reach the diapers.
For more information on family issues, contact your county Extension office or the Family Living Office, University of Maine Cooperative Extension, 5717 Corbett Hall, Orono, ME 04469-5717, (207) 581-3448/3104 or 1-800-287-0274 (in Maine).
Published and distributed in furtherance of Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914, by the University of Maine Cooperative Extension, the Land Grant University of the state of Maine and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. Cooperative Extension and other agencies of the U.S.D.A. provide equal opportunities in programs and employment.
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Last Modified:
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