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 profile of face  Care for Self

"We cannot give what we do not have. Self-care is the foundation for caring about others."
Judith A. Graham, Human Development Specialist, University of Maine.

CARING FOR YOURSELF means knowing and understanding yourself, managing life’s demands, and having clear goals. Although it may not seem to affect children directly, when you take care of yourself, you are stronger and more predictable. Your family feels more secure and supported. For example, once you decide what values you want your children to learn, it will be easier to choose parenting styles and practices that fit those values. A parent who is motivated in her or his own life will be more capable of motivating a child. A parent who feels connected to and supported by other people will find it natural to nurture a child

How to CARE FOR SELF  

  1. Know your personal signs and sources of stress, and know a variety of healthy ways to reduce stress.
  2. Create and follow a household budget.
  3. Offer support to other parents.
  4. Ask for and accept support from others when needed.
  5. Know your own personal and parenting style and habits.
  6. Set child-rearing goals that reflect your values.
  7. Work together with your child-rearing partners.
    8.

What We Know About CARE FOR SELF

  1. Minor parenting hassles, not only major life events, can be big sources of stress.
  2. Isolation and lack of contact with friends, neighbors, coworkers and relatives can put extra stress on families.
  3. Close relationships help people cope with stress.
  4. Social support is especially critical for teen parents.
  5. In many low-income families, large networks of friends, neighbors and relatives can work against parents rather than with them. This can be stressful because we feel a sense of duty to these people.
  6. Mothers who are happy with their supportive parenting networks report a greater sense of well-being, and are more likely to praise their children.
  7. Parents living with adult relatives may not develop strong parenting skills.
  8. Some parents find it hard to accept support from others, because they feel they must provide support in return.
  9. Support from family, friends, neighbors and coworkers helps parents feel better about themselves, and improves parent-child relationships.
  10. Parents who provide mutual support will seek agreement in important decisions about childrearing.
    11.

Care for Self Publications 

This material was adapted with permission. Smith, C.A., Cudaback, D., Goddard, H. W., & Myers-Walls, J. A. (1994). National Extension Parent Education Model. Manhattan, KS: Kansas Cooperative Extension System.

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Last Modified: 08/29/07
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